Embracing Unconventionality

Oregon Coast at Sunset

photo by Angela Marie Morton

There is an expected order for going about certain things in life. From major decisions in career paths, steps in a relationship, and even finances, to smaller things such as decluttering, they all have presumed trajectories. If you deviate from the common paths, you may be looked at sideways, or may even second guess yourself because so-called experts in the field, as well as society as a whole, convey the message that there is a prescribed way of doing the respective task or step.

In my own life, I tend towards intuition and spontaneity, combined with caution and practicality. I do research when necessary, in order to educate and inform myself on a subject, but ultimately, I do what is most aligned with my core beliefs and principles, and what feels right for me. 

This writing was inspired by a major declutter I did back in the spring of 2020. As I was thinking back on it recently, it started me on a whole train of thought about the courses I have chosen to take in various aspects of my life. As I reflected on each one, I thought it was funny that I seem to have done several things “backwards” or “incorrectly” according to the experts, or the commonly understood ways in which people are “supposed” to approach them.      

In regards to the massive decluttering project, aside from a few stray writings I’d come across, I hadn’t read much on the subject, and was unaware of the various schools of thought on how to approach it. While they vary on the details, most follow the same basic parameters for which items to declutter first, second, etc. To my knowledge, the way I tackled it was completely counter to all the rules: I started with the most difficult items first - the sentimental ones - and worked backwards from there. My reasoning was, if I could be ruthless with the most difficult items right from the start, the rest would be easy. I wasn’t hasty, but I didn’t mess around, either. I worked carefully, and the more I got into it, the easier it became, both psychologically and physically. While, in my opinion, there is not a hard and fast end point to decluttering, when I was finished with that large 2020 purge, I felt good, and knew that it would be easier from then on to get rid of things I needed or wanted to part with. It was only after reading numerous books and articles over the 3 years since then that I discovered I’d approached it “wrong”. But it worked well for me, so clearly there is no one “right” way to declutter. 

Another area in my life in which I did things out of order was marriage and school. The standard tract is to finish high school, go to college, maybe go to grad school and possibly further, and get married after your academic career is behind you. I went to high school, dabbled a bit in community college courses, but never found my groove. Eventually, I began working at a few retail jobs I enjoyed, and didn’t think much about school or a career. I got engaged to my best friend, relocated to a different state, landed a retail job I really liked, and got married at 23. Shortly after that, I decided I wanted to pursue an education and get an undergraduate degree. I juggled a full time job, a new marriage, and a full college course load for several years. My hard work paid off, and I ended up graduating ahead of schedule, with honors, and a double major and a minor. Getting married first and pursuing my education second, while not the traditional path, seemed to be the right way for me. (Shout out to my mom for her financial assistance and emotional support, and to my husband, for being by my side and getting me through those intense years.)

As for my current focus on art and illustration, it is not that I approached it backwards, but rather, late and unconventionally. My degree is in sociology, social science, and psychology, and I did not start working on my art seriously until a few years ago, in my early 40s. No courses, internships, networking conferences, or trade shows. Just me, my supplies, my determination and imagination, supportive loved ones, and a continuing self-education about the industry. I  believe it is totally possible to present yourself and your art professionally, and produce quality work, even without formal education in the field. 

So, if you too tend towards unconventionanlity, here’s to doing things wrong. You never know, it just might be the right way for you.